Have you ever heard of the Phantom Limb Syndrome?
This occurs in amputees. It’s “the ability to feel sensations and even pain in a limb or limbs that no longer exist.” People who have lost a body part can sometimes feel that same body part still moving or being touched even though it’s not there anymore. Experts believe that this is caused by mixed signals in the brain.
Don’t we experience the same when we lose a loved one? Sometimes, it feels like they are still with us. The door opens and we expect to see their familiar faces. We call out their name at home, wanting to share good, bad, or exciting news, forgetting that they are no longer with us.
There’s also something called Bereavement Hallucinations.
This is the “experience of seeing or feeling a dead person.” This is a common occurrence, as many people find comfort in “encountering” their deceased loved ones. But this can also be a sign of complex grief, which needs to be addressed.
How do we move on from the loss of a loved one?
Last year, my father-in-law passed away. He was 96. We were quite close. He spent his sunset years in my and my husband’s care. After living a full life, he is now at peace. This thought makes me happy.
Like countless others, I lost friends to the pandemic. They died so suddenly that I couldn’t even process the news of their passing. To this day, it’s hard to think that they are gone, and that I will never see or spend time with them again. But the thought that they are now in a better place without pain or suffering brings me peace.
For those of us who are left behind, it might be difficult to move on because we are focusing too much on ourselves—our grief, our loss, our emotions.
Try a change in perspective. Let’s focus on the loved ones we have lost. They are no longer suffering or in pain. This chapter in their journey has ended. They might be embarking on the next, whatever that may be for them.
I hope this change of outlook helps us to move on.
Moving on doesn’t mean forgetting or neglecting. We don’t move on from our loved ones. We move on from the loss and the grief of their passing.
Moving on means getting to the point wherein we remember them without being overwhelmed with grief. Instead, we focus on celebrating their lives and how they have been an important part of ours. We focus on the love we shared.
As we commemorate our loved ones this November tradition, perhaps we can also take this time to reflect. When we reach the end of our journey in this life, will we be ready?
As we contemplate, let us be a blessing to others every day.
