Is it okay to be happy when other people are hurting?
Maybe you’ve asked yourself that question lately.
With the heavy rains and devastating floods affecting so many parts of the country, it can feel almost uncomfortable to celebrate anything.
While some of us are blessed with a few hours of sunshine, others are still dealing with floodwaters inside their homes. Some have lost belongings, livelihoods, or even loved ones. And even when the rain stops, the misery doesn’t end. In some places, the floodwaters remain chest-high or even reach the roofs of houses.
So, when something good happens to us—a birthday, a celebration, a family gathering, a promotion—are we supposed to put our happiness aside because someone else is suffering?
I found myself wrestling with that question recently because I celebrated another birthday.
I wanted to be happy. And I was.
But I was also conscious that while my family and friends were celebrating with me, other families were going through some of the most difficult days of their lives.
Do we have to choose between compassion and joy?
We can care deeply about what is happening around us and still be grateful for the blessings in our own lives.
I am grateful for another year of life. Grateful for family and friends who took the time to celebrate with me. Grateful for another year with my husband, Tatang, who also recently celebrated his birthday. Growing older with someone you love is something I don’t take for granted.
But birthdays also remind us that time is passing. Perhaps that’s one of the strange things about getting older. We become more aware that life is not just about adding years. It’s also about appreciating the years we have and the people we get to share them with.
And I’m grateful that, even at this age, life still gives me opportunities to learn. There are still lessons to discover. New perspectives to consider. New people to learn from. New experiences that challenge me to grow.
So, back to the question: Is it okay to be happy when you’re surrounded by misery?
Being happy doesn’t mean you don’t care. Being grateful for your blessings doesn’t mean you’re insensitive to someone else’s pain. And enjoying your life doesn’t mean you’re ignoring the suffering around you.
In fact, I think we need joy because there is suffering.
We can’t fix every problem. We can’t stop every storm. We can’t carry everyone’s burden. But we can choose what we do with the blessings we’ve been given.
So, how do we stay happy when we’re surrounded by misery?
1. Give yourself permission to feel joy.
Don’t feel guilty for being grateful.
Celebrate your birthday. Enjoy dinner with your family. Laugh with your friends. Take pleasure in the little things.
Your happiness doesn’t take away someone else’s. You are allowed to enjoy the life you have while still caring about those who are hurting.
2. Let gratitude keep you grounded.
When you recognize how blessed you are, happiness becomes more than personal enjoyment. It becomes appreciation.
Instead of thinking, “I deserve this,” you begin to think, “I am grateful for this.”
And gratitude has a way of making happiness deeper and more meaningful.
3. Share your joy.
If you have more than enough, share. Share your food. Share your resources. Donate. Volunteer. Check on someone who needs help. Send an encouraging message.
And don’t underestimate the power of sharing your happiness.
Your smile, your laughter, your hope, or a simple act of kindness may become someone else’s reason to keep going.
Perhaps that’s the balance we’re looking for.
We don’t have to choose between being happy and being compassionate. We can be both.
We can celebrate our blessings while remembering those who are hurting.
We can enjoy the sunshine while praying for those still caught in the storm.
We can laugh, love, celebrate, and still lend a hand.
So yes, I celebrated my birthday. And I did so with a grateful heart—not because the world is perfect, but because life is precious.
Another year is a gift.
Growing old with Tatang is a gift.
Family and friends are gifts.
Learning is a gift.
And being able to share whatever joy I have with others?
That is a gift, too.
Maybe happiness isn’t something we should hide when life gets difficult.
Maybe it’s something we should share.
